Why is requesting that I “do what I Want with you” not conducive to creating a proper Dominant/ submissive relationship? It seems to make sense, right? I am the Domme, you are the submissive. your body and mind belong to Me. Except they don’t! Not yet. The boundaries of our relationship have not yet been established. I do not know yet if I enjoy your whimper or your pain, your begging or release. These are key components to My enjoying our relationship. I have to know more about you before I know what I want to do with you!
So what is the proper way of approaching a Maîtresse for the first time? you are submissive. you feel your own desires are minimal compared to those of your chosen Mistress. There has to be a way to create a first encounter where you are both powerless and allowing the Maîtresse to do what She wants. There is a simple answer. you tell Her what you enjoy or what you fantasize about. This is not topping from the bottom or anything so simple. Knowing the likes and dislikes of a submissive is important. Voicing your likes to your Mistress prior to the beginning of a session is the only way to ensure that She knows what you are looking for.
It creates a solid foundation. Regardless of how long you and I decide to pursue the D/s relationship. you have to build from somewhere. Yes, of course, there are one offs and sometimes it is more about cumming than it is about worship. But this is about the D/s relationship. This is about creating a potentially long lasting, fulfilling relationship for all parties involved.
Here is the best part. Once you have established your relationship, past the first few encounters and created the proper ebb and flow of a D/s relationship, you can say “Do what You want with me” and you will both have a fantastic experience. The trust has to be present first, you put yourself in My hands completely. This is important! you have to trust Me so completely that by merely asking a tiny task of you, throws you into a submissive frenzy!
Maîtresse Ambre Jade
I always compare it to walking into a restaurant and demanding to be fed and there’s nothing remotely submissive or respectful about that.
Slave: Feed me!
Chef:What would you like to eat?
Slave:Anything!
Chef:I’ve spent years developing my skills and everyone has different tastes and different palates. Sweet, sour? Hot, cold? Main course, dessert? At least give me a hint…
Slave:I dont care. Feed me!
Chef:Get out of my restaurant.
Slave:But I’m the best customer you could ever imagine.
Cook:Only in your head…
That is a fantastic analogy!
Thank you for this. Very interesting….and actually very educational.
you’re welcome
thank you for this insightful post, it is a huge turn on for a submissive to fantasize about being led blindly down an unknown path, it is after all the Domme whose desires and needs Must come First. perhaps the desire to be led blindly is from the sub not really knowing his own desires or perhaps he has an intricate fantasy worked out in his own mind and selfishly expects a Domme to be able to instinctively know to grab his balls firmly, look into his eyes and smile that knowing smile as she gently squeezes and whispers into his ears…..!!!! 🙂 i am guilty of this but your post was very helpful in showing the importance of being upfront about our fantasies as well as the Domme being upfront about Her Needs, Her Desires, and Her Expectations. i can see the importance of building a solid foundation