BDSM Archives - Ms Ambre Jade

Top Trance

November 8, 2024November 8, 2024 by Ms Ambre Jadein Domme Thought, Hypnosis, HypNovember 2024

So I don’t think I have ever really spoken about or even mentioned top trance on this site. It is the state a top or Hypnotist can enter while performing erotic hypnosis. This is often referred to as top space in more classical BDSM scenes.

This is Day 8 of Hyp-November.

So what is Top Trance?

When a subject enters trance it is obvious. There is dissociation, absorption, and suggestion. In top trance it is a little different. There are elements of all three however it is more controlled and kept in check. The strongest element in top trance, for me anyone, is always suggestion. Even as the Tist you enter a state of suggestibility. Since you are driving the scene, and creating the intention it is not the same suggestibility as the subject. More of a state of extreme openness.

Openness and empathy reign in this state. There are moments when my partner’s heart beats in sync with mine. A touch on their skin is felt across my own body. It is very intense.

Is there always a top trance?

Essentially no. The same way there is not always a top space when you are playing. Or sub space for that matter. There is an element of trust and repetition that increases the likelihood of experiencing a more joint trance. It is not something I find myself experiencing in a more professional setting, though it has happened. It is something that happens more when I am with a partner. And we have been playing with erotic hypnosis for a minute. Opening yourself up is always easier with someone you know. Even in a professional setting. There are many subjects who have been with me for close to a decade and they experience trance with me very differently than when they first started!

What does trance feel like for you?

Ms AmbreJade

Join me during Hyp-November with new articles or recordings daily:

Loyal Fans:

Patreon

Hyp-November Exclusive Niteflirt Listing:

Creating Connections with Erotic Hypnosis

November 2, 2024November 3, 2024 by Ms Ambre Jadein Domme Thought, Hypnosis, HypNovember 2024

Creating connections within a dynamic is not an alien concept when it comes to BDSM. There are so many different ways to create lasting, intense connections among people. Erotic hypnosis creates something truly unique between partners.

This is Hyp-November Day 2.

creating connections with erotic hypnosis and Ms AmbreJade

So many plays have different ways of creating connections. Each unique and each experience is unique. Each dynamic is unique. I think we forget sometime that every experience has so many different variable, but I am getting distracted from my initial point. Different plays create a different type of connection. There are a lot of different plays I enjoy. But there is definitely something special about erotic hypnosis where connections are concerned.

What Does It Feel Like?

Creating connections with erotic hypnosis almost feels like giving a piece of your soul to another. This is not necessarily valid for transactional sexuality or through files. I am talking about trusted, established, safe(r) partners being a piece of you and you being a piece of them. Sometimes I have thoughts that do not belong to me, feelings that run through my body, these are not mine. They belong to my partner. The same happens to them.

I am never the subject, always the Tist and still, there is a connection. There is a piece of me that traded places with them while we played. I cannot think of another play as apt at creating connects save perhaps rope. There is an intimacy that cannot be replicated. As part of a BDSM dynamic, a portion of your Femdom experience trading slivers of your soul seems like quite the connecting act.

Creating Connections with Everyone?

Is this because of my partners? Quite likely. There is a trust and vulnerability that can only come from time together as your genuine, authentic self. Hiding is not possible when you are playing in each others thoughts. There is an openness that exists in very few other places. Erotic hypnosis offers so much to me and still more and more and more being discovered as time passes.

Join me during Hyp-November with new articles and recordings daily:

LoyalFans

Patreon

Hyp-November Exclusive Niteflirt Listing:

Doormat or Submissive; What Power Exchange is Not

September 19, 2016January 4, 2023 by Ms Ambre Jadein Domme Thought, Life Coaching

Power exchange is not about an individual becoming a doormat. As a submissive, you do have the ability to both refuse and negotiate how sessions will come to being. This idea that by becoming a submissive or even just identifying as a submissive means you have no rights, no say in what happens to you, is flawed. I genuinely believe that this idea that power exchange means the submissive should be doormat in order to be a “proper” submissive, grew from the need to control women’s bodies. As those of you who are part of the BDSM community, Dommes are few and far between. (One of the reasons many of us charge for our services, supply and demand, but I digress…) Women are often on the more submissive side of the power exchange.

Historically, and in the current state of things, women’s bodies are viewed as vessel for pleasure. Our purpose is purely to please our male counterparts. Our bodies are not always ours to control. Look at reproductive rights, access to contraception, porn! The concept of our bodies not being ours is not something new and it is deeply engrained into our minds as well as the minds of men. Not all obviously, I am doing my generalization thing.

So how does this control of the female body relate to power exchange? As women make up the majority of submissives and the popularity of books and films, various media depicting women as the submissive will prove, the act of submission has taken on the idea of your body no longer being yours! “A real submissive would never say no to this!” “Safewords are for pussies!” (There will be a rant about that term at a later date.) Women have been treated as doormats and expect to be treated as such. A submissive (a feminine role) should be treated and expect to be treated as a doormat.

This entire view point is flawed and wrong. Doormats, while they do exist within the BDSM community, chose to be that way. In a power exchange, there is no real exchange if one is in fact a doormat. Because they themselves do not see or desire any power. A submissive has power. They decided to give it to another being for a period of time, but at the end of the session, or within designated spaces, they can take their power back.

It irks me that so many people believe that being a doormat is part of being submissive. The two have nothing to do with one another. BDSM is about trust, knowing you are giving your power to someone by choice. Someone submitting to you is a gift, not a right.

If, as a Domme, I expect doormat behaviour… because let’s face it, sometimes it is fun when your every whim is obeyed and you can do whatever you want to your submissive, then we discuss the expectation beforehand. I insist on clear, concise limits from my submissive before we session. I tailor my session accordingly. This is what makes me deserving of the gift of your submission. This is what all Dommes should reflect upon… in the power exchange, do I deserve this gift!

I have a feeling the idea of the doormat as a submissive was created to minimise the incidence of topping from the bottom. I can’t be sure, more research will have to be done.

What preconceived notions about BDSM or submission bother you?

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

1 888 726-2447

(This piece was originally going to outline behavioural differences but as I wrote and researched, I found myself changing the tone of the entire piece.)

Swingers and Fetishists

December 10, 2015 by Ms Ambre Jadein Domme Thought, Femdom, Fetish

For the purposes of this article, I am using Fetishist and practitioners of BDSM interchangeably. This is not always the case but in this instance it applies to the BDSM community and fetishist feels like a better word than Domme, sub, Dom, slave, puppy, Owner, Mistress, ... the list goes on. Thus fetishist as the term used here.

It’s interesting. There seems to have always been a certain animosity between swingers and fetishists. Even with a rather significant overlap in behaviours. I was at the swingers’ baths the other night and as usually was having a wonderful time. While I do not see myself as a swinger, it is not really something I participate in, I always enjoy being there. I blame the water 😉 A girlfriend and I were talking about the quasi feud that there seems to be between the two cultures. My friend has been into BDSM longer than I have, and though not currently part of the scene, she was for a long time.

What is it about these two cultures that causes the friction? Swingers and fetishists have a lot in common. Both are seen as deviant behaviour, counter culture. They have their own clubs and gatherings. They have their own rules and behavioural expectations. What is it that keeps them apart?

To figure this out, I went back in time to my first encounter with the notions of swingers and fetishists. The BDSM community is BIG on consent, and if they are not, stay away, but a discussion for another time. Consent is a massive part of the BDSM lifestyle. Why? Because you are electing to either cause or receive pain. This is one of the few places where consent is utilized properly. Where as swingers, without the aspect of pain see consent as a given. Not necessarily a given but they tend to see consent in a way that is comparable to the way the rest of society sees it. It is assumed consent is there.

While I do not feel that my experiences within the swinger baths showed a violation of consent, or that anyone was indulging in something that went beyond what was consensual, there were also no discussions about it. No active informed consent, no consent discussions, no debating or negotiating. The consent was assumed.

Maybe this is key to why the two communities seem at odds. I have to admit, coming from the background I do, my ideals, my views, the lack of these consent discussions were a little shocking. More so when you take into account the consuming of alcohol. What can I say, different strokes. The swinger culture has a sense of freedom that I can’t help but covet. Is it for me? Absolutely not. Could it be in the future? Who knows, sexuality is fluid. The BDSM community has structure, roles, rules and regulations, consent. For now, my sexuality swings (pun totally intended) more toward BDSM and likely always will.

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Conversations on BDSM

February 13, 2015 by Ms Ambre Jadein Domme Thought

With the fucking joke BDSM “themed” piece of shit book and what I am assuming will also be a shitty film, 50 Shades of Grey gaining so much popularity, it is impossible to have a casual conversation without BDSM coming up. Now, I live a life where the majority of the people within my social circle are either proponents of the BDSM lifestyle, live the lifestyle or at least grasp the basic understanding of the D/s relationship. I am not about to write about the book or the film, I read the book, so I could but there is already quality information on the subject and I really do not feel like getting into it. I have seen enough on the subject and read enough on the subject. What I am enjoying though is the casual conversations that bring up BDSM.

I feel that all of us who are proponents of the D/s lifestyle should take advantage of the casual conversations about the film and the book, to really properly explain what BDSM is and how it is not properly reflected within the book. Communication is important and now with the line of communication open we should be taking advantage and advocate for safe, sane and consensual play (which is not well represented in the books).

My mother and I had a conversation on BDSM, D/s, and just sexual relationships in general this morning. My mother and I talk very freely with each other about sexuality, even our own personal sexual experience. My mother, who is not into BDSM, understands the principles and the teachings of SSC (safe, sane and consensual) and finds the whole lifestyle intriguing. We have had several conversations on BDSM. She knows that I both profit from (as a pro Domme) and live this lifestyle. She accepts it and defends my lifestyle choices with relatives and the like, a discussion for another time.

This morning we talked about the abusive nature of 50 Shades and how dangerous this is to those new to the lifestyle. Without the proper knowledge, people can get hurt. Abuse and power exchange can look very similar when you do not have the experience, the knowledge and the sometimes common sense understanding of a proper D/s relationship. We, as in those of us with the knowledge and/or experience should feel morally, ethically obligated to open the dialogue and have conversations on BDSM. Not just among our peers. Not just with people who have the same fundamental values but with those wanting to explore the lifestyle or those who are interested in pursuing their lustful thoughts into that direction.

So let’s as a community take advantage of the current pop culture BDSM bullshit and have conversations on BDSM, real BDSM and you never know, we might be the difference between someone experiencing abuse and someone empowering themselves through submission.

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

What’s in a Name? Titles in BDSM

January 29, 2015 by Ms Ambre Jadein Femdom1 Comment

What’s in a name? The use of titles in BDSM and other kink communities is extremely common. As they should be. This piece is by no means a criticism of those who like using titles or who feel titles are important part of their relationships. I adore titles, when they are used properly. Very often, when first contacting Me, people refer to Me as Mistress. I have no problems with that. It is a non issue but what have I accomplished, how have I earned that title from you? Is it respectful? Absolutely but the use of it with minimal interaction reminds Me how easy it is to get caught up in using titles in BDSM.

Think about it. I have never met you before. I have never had any form of interaction with you before but already you call Me Mistress. It diminishes the significance of titles in BDSM when you use it so freely. Some people are programmed that way. They automatically feel that a Woman should be referred to as Mistress, or Goddess or Lord, etc. I by no means, think you should stop this behaviour. If you feel it is right for you to use that title then by all means. But titles in BDSM should have a deeper significance. A more personalised touch when referring to someone with a title.

I have titles in BDSM that I prefer, ones that work best as a HypnoDomme vs FinDomme or FemDomme vs Lifestyle Domme. There is a lot of weight in titles. There is nothing wrong with titles in BDSM. There is power in titles! A lot of power. But the power exchange happens once the relationship has been established. Very often I receive emails that are similar to the following:

Hello Mistress,

i am not sure how to refer to You. i hope Mistress is okay…

My response is usually along the lines of, titles should be earned. you should feel compelled to call Me by a title because you know that fundamentally I am above you. I prefer that people refer to Me as Ms Ambre Jade until we have a connection. That being said, I understand that people like titles in BDSM immediately. submissives like knowing there is something they can call Me from the get go. So I do not stop you from using a title, unless I feel it is a title that has absolutely no merit in its description of Me like Princess (I hate being referred to as Princess, I know many Princesses who love the term, it just does not work for Me.).

So why am I telling you all this? Why are titles in BDSM so important? Beyond the power exchange and protocols, titles and how you refer to Me during our first few interaction gives Me an idea about the type of submissive you are. Are you someone who refers to everyone as Mistress? Do you not feel people should earn their names and titles? It is another way I can read you. So think about your liberal use of titles in BDSM. Think about how important that title truly is. Does it accurately describe the person? Or are you using it out of habit?

Just some thoughts for your day!

À bientôt,

Maîtresse (title) Ambre Jade

MY STORE

888 726-2447

Day 7: What’s Your Favourite BDSM Toy

October 24, 2014 by Ms Ambre Jadein Femdom3 Comments

I decided to add in that this is My favourite BDSM toy and not just toy in general. I have some favourite toys for personal use and some that are wonderful for sex sessions. These toys are separate (though not necessarily) from My BDSM toys. For the purposes of this day, we are going to talk about the toys I like to use when I am feeling a little sadistic.

My sadistic side comes out more and more frequently, I would even say it grows everyday. This is because I have let go of the guilt one feels when they inflict pain. Discussions on that journey will be out soon. What you need to know, I like being a sadist. I enjoy inflicting pain. I have My favourite instruments of torture.

Since we discussed spanking recently and as it is one of My favourite activities, let’s talk about My favourite BDSM toy in terms of spanking objects. My current most used item to force submission or get My message across or just for My Own personal pleasure in watching you squirm is a delightful wooden brush.

There is something luxurious about taking a sub over My knee and cracking their bottom repeatedly with a well weighted wide brush instrument of torture. It is lovely when you finally decide to submit, to succumb to the pain and just trance out or feel the walls of sub space open around you. Delicious torment. Squirming, aching, feeling your ass sore with every movement you make for the following days.

30 Days Of Kink

September 25, 2014 by Ms Ambre Jadein Femdom14 Comments

I have seen this 30 days of kink pop up everywhere most recently on the blog of one Miss Pearl whom I adore! Her blog is fantastic and you should read it but I digress! I have seen this pop up in a variety of places and each time think to Myself, damn I should do that! So here I am doing it!

I would also like to encourage others to partake. I can add links to your blogs below these instructions and really create a great list! Each day in this 30 days of kink activity is a new question, a new focus. It does not have to be done everyday. I will try but I am not promising I will manage, I am a busy Woman. This will be My post for today and I will start day 1 tomorrow!

30 days of kink breakdown:

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us. Find it HERE!

Day 2: List your kinks. Find it HERE!

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky? Find it HERE!

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks? Find it HERE!

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen. Find it HERE!

Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy. Find it HERE!

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

Day 10: What are your hard limits?

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

This list is from Insatiable Desire, another great blog to check out!

Others partaking in 30 Days of Kink:

I will add as they come in, leave your site in the comments section or email Me AmbientAmbre@gmail.com

Empress Vox Siren

john david

In Person or Online Domination

September 3, 2014 by Ms Ambre Jadein Domme Thought

I am constantly hearing online subs complain that they cannot live the lifestyle to the full extent they want to because they are “only online subs”. What a bullshit statement!!! I get that life can get in the way, I really do, trust me! I have a family, I have responsibilities, I have all the same day to day crap that needs doing. But I digress. There are advantages to both, and disadvantages. In my mind, both are equal in a submissive’s ability to devote the amount of time to their lifestyle. I am tired of hearing people talk about online Domination like it is not real. Like it is fantasy, like everyone is play acting. It isn’t. The people who partake in it actively, those of us who have chosen to live a kinkier, if you will, lifestyle create the environment we decide to live in.

Online domination, to me, is more real, more honest than any in person profession session (though, it the interest of being honest, my in person pro sessions are limited and small) I have had. There is a genuine quality to the time I spend with my online slaves. When I see people in person, it seems to become somewhat of a show, on both our parts. And yes, that is what it is. A show. It is a service. When I do sessions online, it is still a service, but the show aspect is minimal. Neither party acting or concerned with much else other than being worshiped and worshiping. It is delightfully refreshing.

The online sessions always seem more real, if you will. Yes, my experience with pro sessions in person is minimal so please do not take this to mean I am saying all in person sessions are shows, they aren’t. I am specifically talking about my experience. The real quality stems from the slave merely enjoying contact with me, spending time with me. They pay for the privilege but there is a sense of belonging that is more intense than I have ever felt with an in-person domination session, as a pro. I make the distinction because there is an deep quality to the relationships I have that are not professional. But even those there is a very active online component. There are few things I enjoy more than receiving a message from my puppy saying “Goddess i woke up this morning needing You so badly it hurt.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to read that?

So all this written diarrhea to say, do not mistake an online domination relationship to be less than an in person one. Do both you and your Superior a favour and acknowledge that though you may not see each other flesh to flesh, the relationship is solid and real. It is also likely to be more real than if you were in fact meeting in person.

Ambre Jade

To those proDommes and proDomme enthusiasts who may take offense to my opinions, I am merely speaking from personal experience. Your Domme is not my Domme, your relationship is not my relationship so it is very likely to be different for you.

“Do what You Want With me” is Not submissive Request

June 27, 2014 by Ms Ambre Jadein Femdom5 Comments

Why is requesting that I “do what I Want with you” not conducive to creating a proper Dominant/ submissive relationship? It seems to make sense, right? I am the Domme, you are the submissive. your body and mind belong to Me. Except they don’t! Not yet. The boundaries of our relationship have not yet been established. I do not know yet if I enjoy your whimper or your pain, your begging or release. These are key components to My enjoying our relationship. I have to know more about you before I know what I want to do with you!

So what is the proper way of approaching a Maîtresse for the first time? you are submissive. you feel your own desires are minimal compared to those of your chosen Mistress. There has to be a way to create a first encounter where you are both powerless and allowing the Maîtresse to do what She wants. There is a simple answer. you tell Her what you enjoy or what you fantasize about. This is not topping from the bottom or anything so simple. Knowing the likes and dislikes of a submissive is important. Voicing your likes to your Mistress prior to the beginning of a session is the only way to ensure that She knows what you are looking for.

It creates a solid foundation. Regardless of how long you and I decide to pursue the D/s relationship. you have to build from somewhere. Yes, of course, there are one offs and sometimes it is more about cumming than it is about worship. But this is about the D/s relationship. This is about creating a potentially long lasting, fulfilling relationship for all parties involved.

Here is the best part. Once you have established your relationship, past the first few encounters and created the proper ebb and flow of a D/s relationship, you can say “Do what You want with me” and you will both have a fantastic experience. The trust has to be present first, you put yourself in My hands completely. This is important! you have to trust Me so completely that by merely asking a tiny task of you, throws you into a submissive frenzy!

Maîtresse Ambre Jade