Doormat or Submissive; What Power Exchange is Not

Power exchange is not about an individual becoming a doormat. As a submissive, you do have the ability to both refuse and negotiate how sessions will come to being. This idea that by becoming a submissive or even just identifying as a submissive means you have no rights, no say in what happens to you, is flawed. I genuinely believe that this idea that power exchange means the submissive should be doormat in order to be a “proper” submissive, grew from the need to control women’s bodies. As those of you who are part of the BDSM community, Dommes are few and far between. (One of the reasons many of us charge for our services, supply and demand, but I digress…) Women are often on the more submissive side of the power exchange.

Historically, and in the current state of things, women’s bodies are viewed as vessel for pleasure. Our purpose is purely to please our male counterparts. Our bodies are not always ours to control. Look at reproductive rights, access to contraception, porn! The concept of our bodies not being ours is not something new and it is deeply engrained into our minds as well as the minds of men. Not all obviously, I am doing my generalization thing.

Power Exchange Discussion with Ambre JadeSo how does this control of the female body relate to power exchange? As women make up the majority of submissives and the popularity of books and films, various media depicting women as the submissive will prove, the act of submission has taken on the idea of your body no longer being yours! “A real submissive would never say no to this!” “Safewords are for pussies!” (There will be a rant about that term at a later date.) Women have been treated as doormats and expect to be treated as such. A submissive (a feminine role) should be treated and expect to be treated as a doormat.

This entire view point is flawed and wrong. Doormats, while they do exist within the BDSM community, chose to be that way. In a power exchange, there is no real exchange if one is in fact a doormat. Because they themselves do not see or desire any power. A submissive has power. They decided to give it to another being for a period of time, but at the end of the session, or within designated spaces, they can take their power back.

It irks me that so many people believe that being a doormat is part of being submissive. The two have nothing to do with one another. BDSM is about trust, knowing you are giving your power to someone by choice. Someone submitting to you is a gift, not a right.

If, as a Domme, I expect doormat behaviour… because let’s face it, sometimes it is fun when your every whim is obeyed and you can do whatever you want to your submissive, then we discuss the expectation beforehand. I insist on clear, concise limits from my submissive before we session. I tailor my session accordingly. This is what makes me deserving of the gift of your submission. This is what all Dommes should reflect upon… in the power exchange, do I deserve this gift!

I have a feeling the idea of the doormat as a submissive was created to minimise the incidence of topping from the bottom. I can’t be sure, more research will have to be done.

What preconceived notions about BDSM or submission bother you?

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

1 888 726-2447

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(This piece was originally going to outline behavioural differences but as I wrote and researched, I found myself changing the tone of the entire piece.)

Thoughts Manifesting as Physical

The power of thoughts, intentions, affirmations, etc. is not completely understood. What is understood is that by thinking you can manifest a physical response. This is the basis for erotic hypnosis. Words, thoughts, images painted by a strong HypnoDomme manifests a physical response in the subject. The best example, hearing My voice and you start feeling arousal immediately. This power that everyone possesses is often untapped. How can we tap into it? How can you do it when you’re Goddess is not available for a session? Is She necessary to feel Her influence? How can you work on thoughts manifesting as physical response?

thoughts manifesting as physical responses

Hypnotic Thoughts Manifesting as Physical

There are a number of examples of hypnotic thoughts manifesting as physical reactions. Experience plays on role on how intensely you feel the response.

  • Hands Free Orgasms, you are not touching, there is no physical stimulus and yet there is a physical response.
  • Trigger Words, these words implanted in previous session with your Hypnotist can potentially create a physical response in your body, like arousal, or even flaccidity depending on the response you are looking for
  • Immobilization, certain hypnosis sessions with Me involve immobilization. This is not Me physically tying you but rather your body being unable to move from the picture I painted with My words and influence.

The potential is limitless. With the right erotic hypnotist, anything is possible.

What if your HypnoDomme is not available to create or implant hypnotic thoughts manifesting as physical responses? A little bit of panic, I know but turn that panic into another emotion. Use it to fuel your internal dialogue into positive affirmations directed at your Goddess. There are some options for you, recorded sessions, affirmations and finding a moment to breath in your Goddess. Breath and think of Her. Allow the thoughts of Her manifest responses in your body.

What’s your favourite hypnotic thought manifesting physical reaction experience?

À bientôt,

Goddess Ambre Jade


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Things to Know About Me Before A FemDomme Call

121114Every FemDomme call is unique. And every Female Dominant you call will have a different approach. My approach has been and always will be one of inquisition. I like knowing you. I like you knowing certain parts of Me. According to the feedback I receive from both callers and submissives, this makes My approach unique. Not that others are not interesting in knowing you, far from. Most of the Dominant Women I know, and socialise with have a similar approach. But I have an interrogation fetish I want as many details from you as I can tease out. I find it incredibly appealing to speak to a total stranger about intimate topics and telling them what to do simultaneously, either for Me or for themselves, all depends on My mood and the rapport.

Here is the thing. I need a rapport. I am a Female Supremacist and an incredible Domme and I need a rapport with the person with whom I speak. I cannot judge what use I have of you, if I am not at least a little bit familiar with you. That does not mean I want to spend days emailing back and forth before actually speaking. It means that when you speak with Me for the first time, I will have questions for you to answer. It does not matter if you are calling Me for Female Domme moment, hypnosis or to offer your life to Me in servitude. I want to know more about you.

A FemDomme call is about more than telling you to suck cock or bend over so I can fuck your ass. The rapport is the key for Me. And maybe I will fuck your ass or have you suck cock for Me. Information is power and My directing questioning gives Me more power of you. I love having more power over you! A FemDomme call is a personal experience. Let’s make sure we both get one.

À bientôt,

Maîtresse Ambre Jade


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Erotic Hypnotic Layering

Erotic Hypnotic Layering

There is more than just the conscious and the unconscious. Erotic hypnotic layering involves  going in deeper and changing every layer to create what amounts to a new reality. The varying levels of depth contribute to how ingrained the thoughts become. My power can reach into the deepest reaches of your subconscious mind, beyond the unconscious. Every level, taking you deeper and deeper to such an extent that the thoughts wondering around in your mind have no clue as to their origin.

Did that thought come from Me? From My power? Or was it something hidden so deeply that you needed My influence to bring it out of you? Ultimately, how it gets there is not important. The origin is insignificant unless it is a thought that does not suit Me. In that case, its origin is very important. It is important so I know where to plant My seeds of change.

Obviously, the seeds planting through My erotic hypnotic layering are those we have discussed beforehand. I do not believe that a hypnoslave should be completely without a say in the evolution of their thought process. I use My powers for good not evil. Unless you contact Me in a different capacity. Where there is light, there is always a shadow. The trust involved in the hypnotic relationship is crucial. I am a trustworthy Woman, a powerful Woman that can easily alter your reality.

It can be frightening and it should be. you are opening your layers to Me. Opening up the parts that make up the individual. But as frightening and scary as the thought may be when trust has been established there is no need for any qualms. When you are in the hands of a talented and powerful Woman, one who completely understands your vulnerability there is no cause for concern. No need to worry that lovely mind of yours. When it becomes Mine, that mind will be clearer, and closer to perfection.

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade