For some, guilt and submission seem to go hand in hand. From a personal standpoint, this is not something I understand. Perhaps, I am too hedonistic in My thoughts but I rarely if ever feel guilty. We all have our moments but guilt is not something in My usual stream of emotions. When talking with someone new yesterday, trying to decide if he deserves to be indoctrinated by Me, he professed his feelings of guilt when following his D/s side. Guilt and submission for him are a package deal. This statement frequently falls to My ears. While My personal emotional experiences do not have anything particularly enlightening on this matter. My experiences as a Dominant Woman certainly does.
Guilt and Submission as a Tool
For some, there is an erotic component to feeling guilty. They find the sensations of guilt and failure something that adds to their sensual experiences. For them, guilt and submission adds a spice, a further deepening to their orgasm, servitude, faith, etc. My puppy, whom I have spoken about numerous times, loves feeling guilty. OK, no he does not but his arousal (My cock, it is Mine, I own it) responds to it like nothing else. I delight in every moment where his guilt becomes overwhelming and then deny him that orgasm he has been waiting over a year for!
Not everyone has a similar response to guilt and submission. This is one of the reason, I ask how you feel about the emotion. How does it make you feel when you are guilty, etc. I tend to ask many, many question. My interrogation fetish has no limits on the discussions it likes having!
When Guilt and Submission are a Negative
Not everyone responds like My puppy. For them, the sensation of guilt does not add spice. It can, in fact take away from the experience. As a Domme, there are many moments where I decide to force you into negative emotive spaces. Mainly, for My Own amusement. Guilt over being a submissive should not, should never be used in such a manner. Guilt and submission are generally experienced by those that have not necessarily completely embraced their submissive side. They fight it. The feelings of guilt can be viewed as an attempt to fight against their nature. The feelings of guilt can be the manifestation of their fight with themselves.
How Guilt and Submission Can Work Together
This is where having a Domme, a proper Domme, can be a very beneficial relationship. The feelings of guilt can easily be resolved or at least minimized by follow orders from your Domme. your Domme will know the most effective way for you to compromise between your feelings of guilt and submission. your Domme will lead you, this is Her purpose, to lead you and satisfy both Her Own needs and yours. Dommes know how to use these sometimes conflicting emotions to Their advantage.
Important Factors When Dealing With Guilt and Submission
- Honesty: Be honest when you are having trouble with the sensations of guilt.
- Accountability: Understand that your Domme is not forcing you into the submission, this is your nature.
- Communication: As with any relationship communicate your feelings with someone who can offer an objective view or at least someone you can be honest with.
- Be Real: perform check ins with yourself. Balance yourself between your submissive self and your vanilla self. If you are having trouble communicate it.
There is so much more to say about guilt and submission. Many people have had issues and I encourage you to share your experiences as well as coping techniques.
Maîtresse Ambre Jade