Day 1: Dom, sub or Switch

This is Day One, in My 30 days of kink; Dom, sub or switch?

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch?  What parts of BDSM interest you?  Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

KinksmI am most definitely a Domme (Dom, in the format of the question)! I have briefly and recently discussed My past experiences as a Switch on the FORUM so I will not get into that here. I believe what made Me actually feel like a switch or a sub in My past was that for a short time I could easily identify as a masochist. It could have been more a stage of exploration and discovery but I did self identify as such. These masochistic tendencies are what brought Me to the world of BDSM.

Though, I no longer identify as submissive, switch or masochist, I am grateful for the experiences and the sensation I felt while enjoy those scenes. Without them, I would not have been able to find My true calling as a Domme. I know there are many people who will read this and think that having subbed in the past makes Me less Dominant but you can kiss My ass. I owe you no explanation. I believe in honesty above all things and therefore My disclosure of past experiences.

I believe My time spent subbing and switching as well as My time experiencing torturous scene has created an incredibly well grounded, well educated, well rounded Domme.

Definitions are always difficult for Me. Especially when it comes to aspects of sexuality. Since sensuality, sexuality and kink are so fluid and the relationship within them so different from individual to individual it is difficult to create and apt definition.

I believe what makes a Domme, the main characteristic She has that let’s you know She is the one for you, is the ability to create an environment where the submissive can flourish. A relationship where the sub, slave, whatever descriptor you want to use, can blossom into something more than they were before their service. This applies to just about any D/s relationship. The qualities of a Domme and the qualities of a submissive is sooo dependent on the style of relationship they have.

maso092614My Dominance stems from a love of control, a need even. I micromanage, I am obsessive about things being done MY way. And though in some relationships that would be considered a negative, the style of relationships I have makes this quality a big plus 😉 It is one of the biggest attraction to BDSM that I have. I have discovered that I am slightly sadistic. What started as a curiosity and exploration as a maso was, retrospectively, a cry for knowledge about pain and an inability to morally get over Myself. This is a discussion that deserves its own post so I will get to that eventually 🙂

Being Dominant, is having power and using that power to mould your sub into your desire while simultaneously allowing them the oportunity to grow and bloom in Your service. This is what I hold Myself to and part of why I am so particular about who I am willing to take on as a permanent slave, PT or FT!

What are your definitions? How do you see yourself? Are you a Dom, sub or switch? Join this journey of 30 days of kink with Me and many others!

À bientôt,

Maîtresse Ambre Jade

1 (888) 726-2447

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In Person or Online Domination


I am constantly hearing online subs complain that they cannot live the lifestyle to the full extent they want to because they are “only online subs”. What a bullshit statement!!! I get that life can get in the way, I really do, trust me! I have a family, I have responsibilities, I have all the same day to day crap that needs doing. But I digress. There are advantages to both, and disadvantages. In my mind, both are equal in a submissive’s ability to devote the amount of time to their lifestyle. I am tired of hearing people talk about online Domination like it is not real. Like it is fantasy, like everyone is play acting. It isn’t. The people who partake in it actively, those of us who have chosen to live a kinkier, if you will, lifestyle create the environment we decide to live in.

Online domination, to me, is more real, more honest than any in person profession session (though, it the interest of being honest, my in person pro sessions are limited and small) I have had. There is a genuine quality to the time I spend with my online slaves. When I see people in person, it seems to become somewhat of a show, on both our parts. And yes, that is what it is. A show. It is a service. When I do sessions online, it is still a service, but the show aspect is minimal. Neither party acting or concerned with much else other than being worshiped and worshiping. It is delightfully refreshing.

The online sessions always seem more real, if you will. Yes, my experience with pro sessions in person is minimal so please do not take this to mean I am saying all in person sessions are shows, they aren’t. I am specifically talking about my experience. The real quality stems from the slave merely enjoying contact with me, spending time with me. They pay for the privilege but there is a sense of belonging that is more intense than I have ever felt with an in-person domination session, as a pro. I make the distinction because there is an deep quality to the relationships I have that are not professional. But even those there is a very active online component. There are few things I enjoy more than receiving a message from my puppy saying “Goddess i woke up this morning needing You so badly it hurt.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to read that?

So all this written diarrhea to say, do not mistake an online domination relationship to be less than an in person one. Do both you and your Superior a favour and acknowledge that though you may not see each other flesh to flesh, the relationship is solid and real. It is also likely to be more real than if you were in fact meeting in person.

Ambre Jade

To those proDommes and proDomme enthusiasts who may take offense to my opinions, I am merely speaking from personal experience. Your Domme is not my Domme, your relationship is not my relationship so it is very likely to be different for you.