With the fucking joke BDSM “themed” piece of shit book and what I am assuming will also be a shitty film, 50 Shades of Grey gaining so much popularity, it is impossible to have a casual conversation without BDSM coming up. Now, I live a life where the majority of the people within my social circle are either proponents of the BDSM lifestyle, live the lifestyle or at least grasp the basic understanding of the D/s relationship. I am not about to write about the book or the film, I read the book, so I could but there is already quality information on the subject and I really do not feel like getting into it. I have seen enough on the subject and read enough on the subject. What I am enjoying though is the casual conversations that bring up BDSM.
I feel that all of us who are proponents of the D/s lifestyle should take advantage of the casual conversations about the film and the book, to really properly explain what BDSM is and how it is not properly reflected within the book. Communication is important and now with the line of communication open we should be taking advantage and advocate for safe, sane and consensual play (which is not well represented in the books).
My mother and I had a conversation on BDSM, D/s, and just sexual relationships in general this morning. My mother and I talk very freely with each other about sexuality, even our own personal sexual experience. My mother, who is not into BDSM, understands the principles and the teachings of SSC (safe, sane and consensual) and finds the whole lifestyle intriguing. We have had several conversations on BDSM. She knows that I both profit from (as a pro Domme) and live this lifestyle. She accepts it and defends my lifestyle choices with relatives and the like, a discussion for another time.
This morning we talked about the abusive nature of 50 Shades and how dangerous this is to those new to the lifestyle. Without the proper knowledge, people can get hurt. Abuse and power exchange can look very similar when you do not have the experience, the knowledge and the sometimes common sense understanding of a proper D/s relationship. We, as in those of us with the knowledge and/or experience should feel morally, ethically obligated to open the dialogue and have conversations on BDSM. Not just among our peers. Not just with people who have the same fundamental values but with those wanting to explore the lifestyle or those who are interested in pursuing their lustful thoughts into that direction.
So let’s as a community take advantage of the current pop culture BDSM bullshit and have conversations on BDSM, real BDSM and you never know, we might be the difference between someone experiencing abuse and someone empowering themselves through submission.