Before you begin reading this piece, understand that I am not in anyway referring to the sexual aspects of being a Domme, domgasms and the like but rather the need to control, punish, and power dynamics.
The Domme vs The Mom, coming to you live this Saturday night. Brought to you by … teenagers, fucking with your household’s power structure since (what feels like) the dawn of time. (Read in my best announcer voice!)
Oh the battles that occur within my own mind! The power dynamics within my household are actually far more liberal than people usually expect. I mean, I definitely have my rules and they have to be followed but beyond those, there are few restrictions. The house runs smoothly. Until lately. Lately I have a teenage monster living with me, with his testosterone and teenage mood swing. It has been difficult for both of us to adapt to these new conditions.
My challenge, not being the Domme. One could argue that the roles are similar and there is definitely some cross over but I do not want to dominate my child or his experiences. I am not referring to physical punishments or isolation, things like that, I am referring to aspects of the D-s relationship like complete control, permission to do anything, needing to accomplish things to receive rewards… okay, some of you might be reading this and think, well yeah, that’s a big part of parenting. But for me, it is the mind switch that gets changed over.
The Domme switch in its on position is all about making sure you never question my authority, never question anything that is told to you, you are mine to do with as I please (within sessions and previously discussed informed consent… you know what I mean). The mother switch, also about authority but for different reasons. The descriptions of either archetype are so similar that it is impossible to illustrate through language alone. There is an attitude when dealing with the other half of the relationship and that is the difference. I don’t have any desire to look upon my child as something that I own, that belongs to me. Whereas, a slave, could definitely be seen as an object or possession.
When my household gets rocky, like people not obeying rules or forgetting about chores, not doing school work…. we all know how teenagers are, take your pick of behaviours that would upset the apple cart. When shit is not getting done, I either become nagging, crazy mom or Domme bitch from hell! And while I know several boys and girls that would enjoy the Domme bitch from hell, this is not a situation where I welcome her. On the other side, I hate being the nag. Basically I am running out of archetypes 😉
The most important thing to me, is to not become the Domme when these situations arise. To keep my cool and find different ways to communicate and make my needs and expectations clear without going into a Domme like head space.
I am sure there will be many rematches between the Domme and the Mom but eventually the Mom will win because that’s what I want and as a Domme I always get what I want…. see right there, how they tie in together 😉