It’s true, I am a bitch! I like things the way I like them. I like when things run the way they should. I like when you do as you are told. It is a problem I have. Just because I am a Domme does not mean I have to dominate every thing. But I try. Control freak I guess you could say. I do not do it on purpose. I do not get angry on purpose. It just comes out that way.
Okay some explanation. Here is a brief description of the type of person I am. I am not what most people expect. I am a bitch without meaning to be. That is when I am at my bitchiest, I swear. So here is the most important thing you need to know about me:
I get angry, like fucking pissed at the drop of a hat. If you misbehave, forget something, piss me off somehow, I get MAD! Like seeing red mad. I would much prefer to end the conversation before I get into an anger loop of doom. The thing to remember though, the most important bit, is once I am finished being angry, it is over. In my mind, what ever happened is now finished. I dealt with it. I may have gotten angry and used inappropriate language and maybe stomped off or hung up. But when all is said and done I am finished! The reason I am angry is usually quite clear.
And though I am seeing red if you ask me what is wrong, why I am angry, I will have a clear response. Sometimes, I am angry at myself, sometimes I am angry at you. Shit happens.
What you need to take home about this confession of anger:
Do not expect a scene. If you are late to our meeting, something simple right? Shit happens! I totally get it but I will be angry. I do not and nor should any other person play any games, scenes, or whatever term you want to use with any should of power exchange. Look it is just not healthy for either of us. My emotional check-ins are super important to me. My short fuse is part of who I am. That is part of what you need to learn to deal with when playing with me. It is entirely possible that shit will get cancelled.
Now I sound like an insane, emotionally unstable, sociopath. I’m not. I just not in a place right now where I ignore my emotions. I prefer to be clear about what I am feeling. Yeah, it is not fair that we have to cut our session short because you made other plans, well forget about today’s session. Because I am already mad about you making other plans. And yeah, I could force you to stay, force you to decide between me and whatever else you have going on halfway through our session but that is not fair on anyone. Least of all you. You are already in a vulnerable position, I could easily abuse that. Yeah I like to see you cry sometimes, and I like draining you of your power but not in an abusive manner. So when I say not tonight, listen to me.
I might be a bitch, but at least I am self aware.