It seems I spoke too soon with regard to the baths and consent. I suppose there has to be at least one rotten fruit in the barrel. My friend and I were at the baths last night. Yes, on a Tuesday. Yes, we may have a problem. Anyway, at the baths. Now, where my intentions are purely an indulgence in nudity and water, okay, yes and some eye candy. I enjoy watching. So where my intentions are not to hook up, the girlfriend I go with, she is usually on the prowl. It’s great actually! It does however create some confusion among the other bath patrons. They are either thinking we are a couple, or that we are looking for a group experience. Due to the nature of our environment, I can’t blame anyone for misinterpreting our presence.
What I can blame people for… touching without permission. Touching, regardless of how innocent seeming the touch is, requires consent. Again, due to the nature of the environment, I can understand how an individual’s fingers might push the lines of acceptable behaviour and venture into territory they normally would not. Like I said, Can’t blame someone for that. I mean, it’s rude as fuck especially when there has been no forward advances or invitations, but the rooms can be dark and the water concealing so, yeah, no real blame there.
Where the “Oh HELL NO” comes in… when your advances were rejected with a polite wave of the hand, in a clear “not tonight” gesture and while acknowledging my request you back off. But that lasts no more than a moment before you move to sit beside me. Dude, not fucking cool. I get that there are only a few women in the baths that night, and you paid your entrance fees, but that does not mean you are entitled to feast upon the treasures that lay within my body. It’s not for you unless I say yes!
THREE, three, yes let me repeat that three repetitions of “no” occurred, each one brought a few minutes of alone time followed by another unwanted caress. When the fourth incident took place, I had had enough. After verbally smacking him down, with a lecture on appropriate approaches, I left the hot tub and removed myself from the situation, not for my benefit but for his. Another uncalled for touch and violence would have ensued.
Going forward. The situation was not ideal and his complete disregard of my wishes appalling, I cannot think of a way to prevent this from happening again. I mean, yeah, I could tell people to fuck off the moment they make eye contact with me, but that’s not really my style. I can tell you though, going forward, there will be no second chances.
À bientôt,
Ambre Jade
