Establishing a Connection

090615How should you go about establishing a connection with a Domme? I often write about the importance of the connection between Goddess and subject. This is an important aspect of your submission that can be overlooked by shiny objects (pictures) and the like. A focus on the physical to create that connection can often lead to a short term submission. Sometimes, that is what you want. A Domme for the moment as opposed to a Domme for your life. I don’t mind the drive by subjects, the ones just looking for a momentary distraction from their vanilla life or a part time replacement for their regular Goddess when She is not available. There is nothing wrong with your erotic self being secondary to other things, so long as you are honest with both yourself and your Goddess.

Say you want to establish a lasting connection. Something worth more than buying time or files. Something that will be lasting and create a bond between you and your desired Goddess. How will you go about it?

It seems obvious to say contact Her, but that contact has a price, one you should be willing to pay. If you are not willing to pay it, or have experienced a history of bad connections and have since become more frivolous with your money, know that paying to contact is not an option. Find ways around it. This does not mean contact Her and say something ridiculous like “just want to know what you would do?” Shit like that makes Us Dommes cringe and block you. We don’t have time to deal with that type of stuff. People contact us on a daily basis with similar requests and it is too complicated to try and weed out those that are actually looking for a connection and those that just want to get off. (There are more rants to this effect but you know what I mean)

So here is a short list of ways to establish an initial connection with your chosen Goddess:

  • Tribute and Buy Time, even with the previous paragraph in mind, paying for time, sending a tribute or gift is still the BEST way to connect. This shows the Domme you are serious about wanting to establish a connection and that you are aware Her time is money. Even if it is just getting to know Her with simple questions. We get asked these questions a lot.
  • READ, most of Us have blogs, read them. Connect with Her words and not Her images. See where She stands on fetishes that are important to you. Find out what is important to Her.
  • Check out Her wishlist. With the right mind, you can look through a wishlist to get to know who She is and what She likes. Buy Her something while you are there. Check out if there are multiple lists, not just the one main one.
  • Follow Her on social media. Some Dommes ask for a tribute for this privilege, it is a privilege not a right. When you follow, We get notifications, every interaction helps boost Us. So follow, share, comment (respectfully). (*** Quick note about Facebook, for Me, I usually ignore friend requests without prior interaction but you can follow Me and/or follow My pages’ feeds.)
  • Sing Her praises when free content is released. Share it on your social media platforms. Comment on posts or videos. Make it so She recognises you, your name, your username, etc.
  • Send an email to say you have been checking Her stuff out. An email. Not an IM. And do so without the promise of a reply. Do it because you are impressed with who She is not because you want Her to reply. If She does, bonus, if She doesn’t who cares, that was never the goal.

Establishing a connection is important. Trust is important. These tips could help you establish a deep connection, or at least realise ways to serve Her better.

À bientôt,

Goddess Ambre Jade

MY STORE

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Femdom Manners

There are some Femdom manners that can be taught, some that are intuitive and others that can be forced. There are manners and protocols that are unique to the Domme you are serving and others that have their place in the vanilla world. I am sitting in a cafe (a common setting for Me while writing) and am noticing a rather appalling sight. Far too many people are not free with their manners. Pleases and thank yous have become a rarity and casual polite statements are limited. It reminded Me of the hundreds of request I get from people wanting to be My slave, submissive, toy, etc.

It made Me think, it is time for a Femdom Manner review… how would your manners hold up when interacting with Me. Think of Me as Ms Manners. I don’t take on or even entertain the idea of keeping a submissive with poor manners. So let this be a lesson 🙂

Femdom Manners with Ambre JadeFemdom Manners Checklist:

  • Did you say please and/or thank you? This applies to just about anything, if you are asking, it should have a please attached. If I have done something for you, even just reading your message, it should be thanked.
  • Are you making assumptions? This is a massive pet peeve of Mine!!! Like HUGE annoyance. It falls into the category of rude even. Don’t make assumptions.
  • Have you sent a dick pic? Just DON’T! It should go without saying but apparently people are not only rude but also tasteless. There is only one cock I want to see and it is not yours.
  • Communicating/Filling in an application without a tribute. This might seem like it only applies as a part of Femdom Manners but you should consider this even in your vanilla existence. No, I don’t mean you should send giftcards to people but a tiny gift, a token for their time makes you seem far more appreciative and something not easily forgotten.

This is by no means a complete list but think before you write. I do not accept or read through messages that seem like you are not minding your manners.

À bientôt,

Maîtresse Ambre Jade

MY STORE

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My Five Favourite Uses for Erotic Hypnosis

There are so many uses for erotic hypnosis. The tool is really limitless in its capacity for BDSM. With so many possibilities, it is hard to pinpoint My favourites. Won’t stop Me from trying though 😉 I have decided to create a list with My five favourite uses. These are in no particular order. They are equal in My eyes, as far as how much I enjoy them. The biggest difference is the dynamic between between Myself and the subject. The dynamic is so important, as I have stated several times and will continue to repeat.

Uses for Erotic Hypnosis with Ambre JadeFive Uses for Erotic Hypnosis

  1. Self Discovery. BDSM and Femdom are not necessarily associated with self discovery, though they should be. Erotic hypnosis is the perfect tool for discovering more about yourself as a sub as well as an individual. One can easily learn more about the deeper kinks that you were previously unaware of. It can bring to light the components that are keeping you from being truly vulnerable and under the influence of your Goddess.
  2. Brainwashing and Thought Control. Whether using NLP or more classic erotic hypnosis, brainwashing is an absolute pleasure for Me as the HypnoDomme. Changing your view point and how you see the world and molding it to something I enjoy is so much fun. I genuinely believe the world would be a better place if I was in complete control of it and this is how I make that happen, one person at a time. This also creates a certain ownership.
  3. Acceptance of past experiences. This would be less about the erotic aspect and more on the “Domme who wants Her subs to be at their best” side of things. A lot of us, Myself included, have traumas or experiences that shape our views. In some cases, this is negative.
  4. Orgasm, erection, arousal control. Falls within brainwashing but I like to keep it as something completely separate. It is one thing to feel the power of making someone so intensely aroused that You are the only thing in their mind, it is a whole new level of power when I can have you thinking about Me, turned on, unable to focus and then suddenly shut down those responses. That My friends, it power.
  5. Roleplays and Fantasies. This is a use for erotic hypnosis that I do not really use too frequently. I prefer to stay within reality and ultimate submission of the subject. Every now and then though, a subject comes up and fantasies, roleplays, and other-realmly experiences are perfectly suited to the dynamic.

This is by no means the only uses for erotic hypnosis, I have. Just a list of My favourites. What are your favourite uses? Favourite moments?

À bientôt,

Goddess Ambre Jade

MY STORE

888 726-2447

Call Ambre Jade Hypnosis for phone sex on Niteflirt.com

Conversations on BDSM

With the fucking joke BDSM “themed” piece of shit book and what I am assuming will also be a shitty film, 50 Shades of Grey gaining so much popularity, it is impossible to have a casual conversation without BDSM coming up. Now, I live a life where the majority of the people within my social circle are either proponents of the BDSM lifestyle, live the lifestyle or at least grasp the basic understanding of the D/s relationship. I am not about to write about the book or the film, I read the book, so I could but there is already quality information on the subject and I really do not feel like getting into it. I have seen enough on the subject and read enough on the subject. What I am enjoying though is the casual conversations that bring up BDSM.

I feel that all of us who are proponents of the D/s lifestyle should take advantage of the casual conversations about the film and the book, to really properly explain what BDSM is and how it is not properly reflected within the book. Communication is important and now with the line of communication open we should be taking advantage and advocate for safe, sane and consensual play (which is not well represented in the books).

Conversation on BDSM with Ambre Jade
“BDSM logo” by Aida – Own work. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons 

My mother and I had a conversation on BDSM, D/s, and just sexual relationships in general this morning. My mother and I talk very freely with each other about sexuality, even our own personal sexual experience. My mother, who is not into BDSM, understands the principles and the teachings of SSC (safe, sane and consensual) and finds the whole lifestyle intriguing. We have had several conversations on BDSM. She knows that I both profit from (as a pro Domme) and live this lifestyle. She accepts it and defends my lifestyle choices with relatives and the like, a discussion for another time.

This morning we talked about the abusive nature of 50 Shades and how dangerous this is to those new to the lifestyle. Without the proper knowledge, people can get hurt. Abuse and power exchange can look very similar when you do not have the experience, the knowledge and the sometimes common sense understanding of a proper D/s relationship. We, as in those of us with the knowledge and/or experience should feel morally, ethically obligated to open the dialogue and have conversations on BDSM. Not just among our peers. Not just with people who have the same fundamental values but with those wanting to explore the lifestyle or those who are interested in pursuing their lustful thoughts into that direction.

So let’s as a community take advantage of the current pop culture BDSM bullshit and have conversations on BDSM, real BDSM and you never know, we might be the difference between someone experiencing abuse and someone empowering themselves through submission.

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Guide to Finding the Right Domme

01415When it comes to finding the right Domme, there can be numerous challenges. I am well aware that I am not the right Domme for everyone, and I would not want to be either. That would diminish the relationships I already have. Sure I will do Female Domination calls with you, but that would not necessarily make you Mine. I digress. Finding the right Domme is a huge challenge for many men. There are a ton of reasons, the main one being a FemDomme is like a fucking unicorn hiding in a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow on the top of Everest. Female Dominants are rare within the BDSM community. Well not necessarily rare but there are far fewer Female Dominants than there are male submissives or switches. Looking beyond the fact that this dynamic pleases Me because this automatically puts Me in a position of power even before we are introduced, it is a problem from the other side. For you, the boy, boi, male, sub, subject, puppy, etc. that is finding the right Domme.

I cannot even begin to tell you how stupid boys are when they are trying to pursue a Domme professional or otherwise. As I do both, this allows Me a unique perspective into the ridiculous behaviour of My male followers. Obviously this is a generalization but you will see why in a moment.

How to go about finding the right Domme

First and foremost, be willing to pay for your training. Should you find someone who is not asking for tribute hooray! Yay! Good for you, but how sad that you will never know the luxury of submitting every aspect of your being to another person! A professional, regardless of the medium through which you are trained (ie, phone, text, in person, skype, etc) will know just what buttons to push with minimal (comparatively) effort on your part. It will allow you to explore within a specific relationship dynamic. If while finding the right Domme, you come across the perfect Dominant Mistress who fills all your criteria, do not dismiss Her just because She charges money. Topic for another day. Paying a Mistress is something you will likely have to do at some point in your development as a sub. Why? Because We know We can! We are the unicorns, remember? We hold all the cards. And We all deserve it!

Do NOT try to turn someone into something they are not! I am constantly hearing anecdotes from submissive women who are being berated by men for not domming them. Well, fucker, how come you will not Dom her? Oh because it doesn’t work like that for you? Guess what? It doesn’t work like that for her either. So shut the fuck up and just be friends and shit! Finding the right Domme does imply that She needs to identify as a Dominant or at least a switch. This whole trying to change someone’s sexual preference drives Me insane. It is like telling a gay man he has to fuck Me because I think he is hot.

When finding the right Domme, communication is key. As with just about anything. I go into My fetlife account, read My messages and everyday, several times a day there are people saying how nice it would be for Me to be their Domme. Well no shit!!! Imagine that. I even agree with you, but that does not mean I am going to reply to you. Firstly, you showed no proof that you read My profile. Second, you did not ask a question. Third, your profile is empty and so there is no reason for Me to think you are genuine. This is merely a summary. I will be writing a post about first contact on Domme Thoughts later in the week. On a side note, NO ONE wants to see the pic of your cock, as your profile pic or as an attachment.

The best suggestion I can give you on your journey, this is golden so write this shit down. Before finding the right Domme, know what you are looking for from a Domme. A proper Domme can groom you into what She wants with the right motivation and rapport. But before it gets to that point, know what you are looking for. For example, if you are looking for a Domme that asks very few questions during a session and verbally abuses you all session long, make sure She is into that! Don’t do a session with Someone who expresses a delight in talking and interrogation (ME 😉 )!

To Be Continued…

À bientôt,

Maîtresse Ambre Jade

888-726-2447

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Guilt and submission

For some, guilt and submission seem to go hand in hand. From a personal standpoint, this is not something I understand. Perhaps, I am too hedonistic in My thoughts but I rarely if ever feel guilty. We all have our moments but guilt is not something in My usual stream of emotions. When talking with someone new yesterday, trying to decide if he deserves to be indoctrinated by Me, he professed his feelings of guilt when following his D/s side. Guilt and submission for him are a package deal. This statement frequently falls to My ears. While My personal emotional experiences do not have anything particularly enlightening on this matter. My experiences as a Dominant Woman certainly does.

Guilt and Submission as a Tool

Domme Ambre Jade talks about sensations of guilt and submissionFor some, there is an erotic component to feeling guilty. They find the sensations of guilt and failure something that adds to their sensual experiences.  For them, guilt and submission adds a spice, a further deepening to their orgasm, servitude, faith, etc. My puppy, whom I have spoken about numerous times, loves feeling guilty. OK, no he does not but his arousal (My cock, it is Mine, I own it) responds to it like nothing else. I delight in every moment where his guilt becomes overwhelming and then deny him that orgasm he has been waiting over a year for!

Not everyone has a similar response to guilt and submission. This is one of the reason, I ask how you feel about the emotion. How does it make you feel when you are guilty, etc. I tend to ask many, many question. My interrogation fetish has no limits on the discussions it likes having!

When Guilt and Submission are a Negative

Not everyone responds like My puppy. For them, the sensation of guilt does not add spice. It can, in fact take away from the experience. As a Domme, there are many moments where I decide to force you into negative emotive spaces. Mainly, for My Own amusement. Guilt over being a submissive should not, should never be used in such a manner. Guilt and submission are generally experienced by those that have not necessarily completely embraced their submissive side. They fight it. The feelings of guilt can be viewed as an attempt to fight against their nature. The feelings of guilt can be the manifestation of their fight with themselves.

How Guilt and Submission Can Work Together

This is where having a Domme, a proper Domme, can be a very beneficial relationship. The feelings of guilt can easily be resolved or at least minimized by follow orders from your Domme. your Domme will know the most effective way for you to compromise between your feelings of guilt and submission. your Domme will lead you, this is Her purpose, to lead you and satisfy both Her Own needs and yours. Dommes know how to use these sometimes conflicting emotions to Their advantage.

Important Factors When Dealing With Guilt and Submission

  • Honesty: Be honest when you are having trouble with the sensations of guilt.
  • Accountability: Understand that your Domme is not forcing you into the submission, this is your nature.
  • Communication: As with any relationship communicate your feelings with someone who can offer an objective view or at least someone you can be honest with.
  • Be Real: perform check ins with yourself. Balance yourself between your submissive self and your vanilla self. If you are having trouble communicate it.

There is so much more to say about guilt and submission. Many people have had issues and I encourage you to share your experiences as well as coping techniques.

À bientôt,

Maîtresse Ambre Jade

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A Domme Girlfriend Experience: Something you need!

A Domme Girlfriend Experience with Ambre JadeRecently I have been doing a LOT of Domme Girlfriend Experience sessions! I find Myself genuinely enjoying these sessions. At first, I thought, fuck no! I don’t do the girlfriend thing in My personal life why would I do it in My professional life? But let Me tell you, the experience has been nothing but rewarding! Both financially and in terms of entertainment! Not every wants a Domme Girlfriend Experience and that is fine, but don’t you want to try it? Doesn’t the idea of a Girlfriend who controls your every moment appeal to you? Of course it does! Plus it is Me! So who wouldn’t want a similar session with Me.

What is a Domme Girlfriend Experience with Ambre Jade?

Obviously, this will not be like your typical girlfriend experience session! I am controlling, sometimes manipulative but always caring. Sure My caring usually has My Own motives but hey, enjoy what you can. My company is worth a little manipulation, isn’t it? Having Me for your Domme Girlfriend experience offers you something different than your typical Domination sessions. There is a certain amount of knowing each other. The dialogues between the two of us means you are sharing your life with Me. It is an intense and intimate relationship. Now that does not mean I will fuck you. Silly boy! That’s not going to happen but if you are a very lucky boyfriend, I might cuck you!

A Domme Girlfriend Experience with Me will also mean that there is someone you love, care deeply for that completely accepts all your fetishes. Not only that, but understands them and has some fetishes of Her Own. Experiencing Me as a Girlfriend also means you will get a taste of being a proponent of FLR (Female Led Relationship). you might get a clearer understanding of My version and how you can go about implementing it in your daily life as well. This will be excellent practice for those of you who are interested in pursuing this genre of relationship in the future.

The Benefits of a Domme Girlfriend Experience

This Domme Girlfriend Experience is very similar to a D/s relationship but perhaps a little lighter. A little less focused on the complete Dominance and submission and more focused on enjoy each other’s company. Niceties and such will be exchanged and genuine conversations that revolve around more than just your need to submit to Me. Of course, I will always be in charge, but this will give you the opportunity to have your voice giving a little more weight.

A Domme Girlfriend Experience with Me, is likely to include some webcam time, in fact, just this morning I was speaking with one of My boys while I was folding laundry. This sort of experience is far more casual and light and really has the potential to be a lot of fun. Talking and interacting with Me on a more casual basis gives you insight to both My life and My vanilla experiences. Allowing this type of session to really become a very real Domme Girlfriend Experience!

Join My harem of Domme Girlfriend Experience boyfriends 🙂

À bientôt,

Maîtresse Ambre Jade

888 726-2447

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Electro Play: Keep it current

 

It’s interesting what a skilled pair of hands, some tape and the right Domme can accomplish. Electro play what a pleasure. I was having a bad day, yeah, it happens to the best of Us. My little boy john got to feel the full effect of an unhappy Ambre Jade. In My defense he built the fucking thing. I just got to play. Now before you dumb asses try building something similar make sure you have the knowledge.

What is Electro Play?

I suppose I should be more clear as to its purpose. As you can see from the multitude of images I have included, there are two rings, one placed at the base and one toward the tip. Each band or ring is attached to a wire which releases electrical stimulation from a battery (there is also a transformer so he was being safe). The voltage and number of pulses were determine by Me. How is this possible, you might be wondering? Well this twisted boy has it connected to a site where I can control and determine it. So through My finger tips, he would squirm, whimper, bend over and cry out in pain.

What a delicious cocktail of sadistic fun. Electro play or playing with electricity is really not for everyone but those of you that can handle the torture will find it a rewarding experience. Those delightful spams running through your otherwise useless dick all for the sake of entertaining Me, pleasing Me, showing Me just how far you are willing to go.

Does it go to eleven?

Sadly My Spinal Tap reference was lost as it did not have an eleven. But it was painful enough without such a high setting. Do you think you can handle some electro play? Can you handle the current rushing through your dick and the pain I rejoice in? Probably not! But that’s alright there are many other ways I can make you whimper!

Kneel for Maîtresse,

Ambre Jade

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Do NOT attempt to build something like this yourself. If you are not familiar with how things work leave them alone. you can easily purchase kits that will produce a similar effect!

“Do what You Want With me” is Not submissive Request

submissive behaviour

Why is requesting that I “do what I Want with you” not conducive to creating a proper Dominant/ submissive relationship? It seems to make sense, right? I am the Domme, you are the submissive. your body and mind belong to Me. Except they don’t! Not yet. The boundaries of our relationship have not yet been established. I do not know yet if I enjoy your whimper or your pain, your begging or release. These are key components to My enjoying our relationship. I have to know more about you before I know what I want to do with you!

So what is the proper way of approaching a Maîtresse for the first time? you are submissive. you feel your own desires are minimal compared to those of your chosen Mistress. There has to be a way to create a first encounter where you are both powerless and allowing the Maîtresse to do what She wants. There is a simple answer. you tell Her what you enjoy or what you fantasize about. This is not topping from the bottom or anything so simple. Knowing the likes and dislikes of a submissive is important. Voicing your likes to your Mistress prior to the beginning of a session is the only way to ensure that She knows what you are looking for.

It creates a solid foundation. Regardless of how long you and I decide to pursue the D/s relationship. you have to build from somewhere. Yes, of course, there are one offs and sometimes it is more about cumming than it is about worship. But this is about the D/s relationship. This is about creating a potentially long lasting, fulfilling relationship for all parties involved.

Here is the best part. Once you have established your relationship, past the first few encounters and created the proper ebb and flow of a D/s relationship, you can say “Do what You want with me” and you will both have a fantastic experience. The trust has to be present first, you put yourself in My hands completely. This is important! you have to trust Me so completely that by merely asking a tiny task of you, throws you into a submissive frenzy!

Maîtresse Ambre Jade

Viewing Your Domme as a Leader

Domme as a Leader

While writing down the qualities I want to have as a Domme, I noticed that many of them emulated those of a great leader. A leader, to me, is not necessarily someone in a position of power but rather someone who inspires the devotion of those around them. We do not follow great leaders because we have no choice. We follow them because they make us better. They make us want to be better. They inspire us.

Should we see Dommes as leaders? Not every Domme is a leader and not every leader is dominant but would it not be advantageous as a submissive to be inspired by your Domme? This is something I aspire to. I want to inspire greatness from my submissives. What other characteristics would be great for a Domme to have?

Knowledge of Limitations

I am not just referring to the physical limits of an individual but in a broader sense. I need to be fully aware of my own limits. The knowledge of what I can and can not do is invaluable. Knowledge is also power. The power to know when the perceived limits can be and should be pushed.

Control

Not only the ability to control a submissive but having self control is EXTREMELY important. When someone gives you power over their body, you need to be in complete control. You must have control over your emotions. Never lay a hand in anger. Be aware of what you as an individual are feeling and check it in at the door.

Confidence

It goes without saying that a Domme should be confident. Be confident in your abilities and in the abilities of your sub. This ties in with your knowledge of limitations, if you are not sure, not confident, do not do it. Demand (control) that your sub and you interact in a different manner.

Honesty

This is one of the characteristics I find the hardest. As a professional Domme it is difficult to be honest all of the time. There is still a business component to the relationship which can be difficult. I try to make it a point, to always be honest. Do not mistake honesty for full disclosure. No one really needs to know everything about you, unless you are in a defined partnership and even then it depends on the relationship.

Good Communicator

This is essential! Why would anyone follow someone who can not string two words together? Clear, concise commands are the most effective. Another component of communication is the ability to listen. Be willing to hear out the thoughts of your submissive. Yes, they are, in this context, inferior but that does not mean they are free of thought and feeling. Learn to read body language and listen for words that may not mean what you think they mean.

Respect

As a Domme, you want those around you to respect you. This is not something that can be commanded or forced. But when you are comparing yourself to a leader, respect means something else. It means you respect those around you. I understand that not everyone will agree with me here, but I feel that a Domme should respect her subjects. They should be respected! They are giving you power over them, be it their minds or their bodies, for 5 minutes or 5 years, they are giving the power to you. You should respect their decision. They decided you were the most suitable Domme, they respect you that much.

Obviously there are other qualities of a leader, that a Domme should try and emulate. They should be devoted to you. You should lead them.

What qualities do you find most appealing? What does she/he do that you feel makes them the best leader for you?