A girlfriend and I were having a talk last night. She spent a night with a new lover. Has potential right? Wrong, apparently it was not so good. The question came up on how one can triage their potential sexual experience later. I am not talking about a relationship here. I am talking about sex, one night stands, an experience purely for the carnal desires that require little to no intimacy.
I am not really a one night stand kind of woman. I have those moments, the ones where a girl just wants to get laid. I have enjoyed them in the past and will likely enjoy them again in the future. My friend desires sex, just fucking, nothing more nothing less. Just a good time bathing in the sexual experience. No strings, no obligations, just a night shared.
Her rather bland, boring, not so exciting experiences this weekend prompted the question
How does one triage a potential fuck? And how should they be vetted?
The vetting or evaluation process is subjective. Every one has different desires and criteria. More on this in the future. Where was I? Triage… a system that will allow a person insight into whether or not this particular dance partner is one worth taking time for. It’s intuitive for me. I have shitty sex once in my life and it is not an experience I care to repeat, so I feel her pain. The problem is my triage process, completely intuitive. I have no idea how I know my lovers or potential lovers have the ability to satisfy me. It just happens that way. The question did allow me some moments of reflection. It is not something I look at often. I take this ability for granted when really, I should be celebrating it. As I ask around, it seems to be a rare gift.
I connect experiences and random facts I have learned about the person, either through their own admission or from others. These connections are not obvious nor are they always conscious. I just read people quite well, probably why I am so good at my job. So how does one know their sights are set to the right person?
So my friend and I talked and though no clear way to triage a potential fuck came from it, I did from some conclusions on what NOT to do.
- Don’t judge a book by its cover. Do not get distracted by the physical. Just because some little individual is gorgeous, it does not mean their performance will be worth it.
- Don’t expect them to read your mind. If this is someone who has difficulty communicating or you, yourself have difficulty communication your desires make sure there is some way for them to know what you want. This does not mean just vocalization but body language or movements.
- Don’t ignore the way they walk. I can tell a lot about a person by the way they walk. Confidence vs ego, determination vs blasé. Though this is not a clear picture it can be an indicator.
This all depends on the kind of fuck you are looking for. If you are looking merely for a distraction and experience beyond that is not important, then triage is not necessary. I believe the most important key is making sure you know what you want from your escapade. As well as, being able to communicate that.
I was hoping this would be more concrete, with clear methods of triage. The reality is, it is difficult to determine how someone will be while fucking and my magical spidey senses are not a common skill and I should consider myself lucky.
À bientôt,
Ambre Jade