After being out of BDSM circles and My Own circles for so long (due to personal matters), it is important to do a check in. I fucking love check ins. BDSM check ins are especially important to Me. Sexuality is fluid for the majority of people, Myself included, so after a long absence it is important to reassess your goals, wants, needs and everything in between. For Me, My goal of taking over the universe one sub at a time has not changed, the manner in which I hope to accomplish this goal has not changed. I have though, realised that as a Dominant Woman, I have to make Myself more available to those who serve Me and those interested in serving Me and those in between.
My time away from the “scene” has allowed Me to review My Own behaviour and My Own desires. I believe that checking in is one of the many reasons I find anything within the BDSM community appealing. The opportunity to voice new ideas before each session or new partner, is something everyone should take advantage of. I know from My experience that I love when My submissives voice their thoughts or new goals to Me. This is of course assuming the context is right. The middle of a spanking is not the time to voice a desire for needle play when there has been no discussion beforehand.
Hypnosis, as part of My BDSM experience and as My most prominent fetish, is an important example of why check ins are so important. So much can change even after a single session. you may find yourself having thoughts you never knew you truly thought. Or a new fetish could pop up as something you want to try. These topics should be discussed before a session begins. During negotiations. If your current “relationship” does not allow for negotiations then a check in is even more important. Here are some tips for communicating your new desires or new thoughts to your Mistress/Master/Owner as it applies in a paying relationship. I make the distinction only because professional Dominants have little time for bullshit and Their time should be respected (not that lifestyle Dominants do not deserve the same respect but pros may assume you are looking to waste time):
- Email or message your Dominant with a request for Their time
- Offer to pay for this time (tribute, gift, per minute rate, depending on the Dominant)
- Send a subsequent email briefly describing your new goals, or aspirations
- Confirm with your Dominant that this is something you would like to try but ultimately it is up to Them if you incorporate it into your sessions
Offering to pay for the time is important. It has 2 main implications a) you care about your Dominant and Their time b) you are serious about trying something new. Let Me show you an example from one of My most devoted slaves:
Goddess,
i find that i would like to change some of our fantasies. Could we please set up some time to talk. i have sent You a gc for Your time should You desire having this talk with me.
x
Goddess,
i understand that you are busy and i thank You for allowing me the pleasure of emailing my request to You. During our fantasy next week could you please add in something about anal. i have been very curious about it but i don’t know where to take it. i know this is not something we normally do. i was thinking after You have me submit to You by kissing Your feet, You might touch on the idea of playing with my ass. i really desire this.
x
Now those messages are the ideal. Obviously things will be different depending on your Dominant or your particular situation but I cannot think of a single Domme that would refuse talking about this via email providing you have made some sort of sacrifice (gift, tribute, etc.).
Well, this started as a personal BDSM check in and took a turn for the better. Remember that communication is key in just about all situations. But pick your moment and be willing to sacrifice for the time you may be using up of your Domme.
À bientôt,
Ambre Jade
1 (888) 726-2447